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Since we were Hit and Things Changed, it’s been considered high treason to question the good men and women who serve as our nation’s government. If they say there were WMDs, then by god, there were WMDs somewhere, and we woulda found ‘em if they hadn’t escaped to Syria. If they say sexually torturing whomever we damn well please is necessary to stop terrorism, we should molest anyone who gives our flag the crook eye. And if they say that the Iraq war is causing a massive increase in terrorist sentiment around the globe, we should… um… I…

Huh?

That can’t be right, can it? Oh, but by now we all know that it so is.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t make sense*. Everything our government had been telling us previously was that this war was a shining beacon for democracy in the Middle East. We were showing the rest of those Muhammed-loving sissies how to set up a manly government. Once they got a dose of the good life, they’d kiss our jackboots, spread their asscheeks, and ask for another delivery of American democracy.

How could a report by our own government’s terrorism experts say our government was wrong? It must be all those Clinton appointees left behind- oh wait, Bush purged all those people. Maybe they typed increase when they meant decrease. I guess they probably have editors on these reports, though, huh?

Wingnuts have been telling us we’re supposed to bow down to the almighty government and fight a constant war against Islamofascism, but they can’t have both anymore. Now that they have to choose one, which do you think they’ll choose?

You guessed it, the war. That damn gubment wasn’t no good anyways.

*If you consider common sense akin to a nasty rash