News for the Cynical
Published by McBoing September 11th, 2006 in Cock!, Dudes, Unintentional HumorDude is surprised to find that women are less than charmed by his winning personality.
William Kaper is apparently unfamiliar with the Saturn test. Kaper, the Barrington attorney who made headlines by suing the ex-wife he’d hoped to re-marry in order to get back the $98,000 engagement ring he’d given her, says he was shocked — shocked! — by the raw materialism of the dozens of angry women who left nasty messages on his office phone last week.
“All of them disliked me,” he said, sounding just a little too sensitive for the aggressive litigator he actually is, “but none of them even knew me.”
The basic gist of the messages was that Kaper’s ex-wife was absolutely entitled to keep the five-carat diamond ring, even if they didn’t re-marry, as a kind of payment for spending time with him. This line of reasoning struck Kaper, who says he’s given his ex-wife lots of other expensive gifts over the years, as rather crass.
Bitches! You’re all bitches! You don’t even know me.
What’s a Saturn test? (apart from something undefined by either urbandictionary or wikipedia)
News for the Cynical? Is there any other sort?
Fox
That’s probably the best thing about putting so much money into wedding-related paraphinalia. When the bottom drops out of the relationship, it gives everyone a chance to show off thier best possible sides.
Whereas saying that the ring is a refundable down payment rather than a gift is, of course, anything but crass.
But really, what Kyso Kisaen just said.
I’d say he deserved it for spending that amount on something that sits on a finger. That’s a house for somebody!
You spend ninety-eight thousand dollars on anything, you can afford to lose it.
“Anything” being a worthless blood bauble, that is.
It’s like those people who whine about how their $1200 bottle of wine should be subtracted before calculating the tip. Uh, if you’re wasting $1200 on a bottle of wine, shut up!
The Saturn test is apparently driving a Saturn, not a Mercedes or a BMW, and seeing if she’ll date you anyway. Does she value you for who you are, or the $$ in the bank?
It probably refers to a case.
The general rule is: an engagement ring is a gift in contemplation of marriage. If the marriage does not occur, the recipient has to return it, because the gift was conditional on getting married.
But if they do get married, it’s hers, because she kept up her end of the bargain by marrying the dude.