when the status quo frustrates.

Monday Night Football

Monday, August 28th, 2006

4 Observations:

1) Tony Kornheiser — and it pains me to say it — is kicking ass in the booth. Theismann can’t talk very clearly with Brett Favre’s balls in his mouth, but Korny’s keeping Joe’s hyperbole in check while actually offering enjoyable commentary in engaging fashion. I really, really like him as a color guy. He’s rebounded nicely from the “formerly good columnist turned know-nothing who mails it in while openly admitting he barely knows the names of any athletes under 30.”

2) Theismann should be gagged, and not just with Favre’s balls.

3) Favre is D-U-N terrible. And so are the Packers. The old guy tripped twice over his linemen’s feet, lobbed several overthrown balls, and snared one trash-time touchdown in the first half. Get used to it Packer fans: this is your season in a nutshell. The Packers are a 4 win team and best and will battle it out with Tennesee for the #1 pick and the chance to draft Adrian Peterson.

4) Carson Palmer looked like he was in playoff form, just 10 months removed from ACL surgery. At this rate, ACL tears will soon be 1-2 week injuries. Seriousy, remember when it took a year to heal and then another year to round back into shape? Good to see medical advances going farthest where it matters most in the world: millionaires’ knees.

The penis may be evil, but the vagina is empty and we can’t leave the little fucksticks homeless.

Monday, August 28th, 2006

Twisty’s recent corset patriarchy blaming brought out (and we knew they were out there) female defenders of the sporset. The sporset, as I will be calling the sports corset since it deserves a stupid name, is a corset that you can wear during exericise, because nothing says “breathe” like “boning.”

Defenders claim it is for fitness dance, which might be true but I have to admit I have my doubts, mostly because I can’t think of any reason to artificially constrict your entire torso during aerobic exercise (although the boning in the corset is described as “soft.”) RandomBird, an empowerful woman of about my age and education, gets to the heart of the matter.

When I exercise, I want to feel sexy and I want men to look at me. When I do exercise (which is rare, aside from all the walking I do), I don’t exercise for my health; I exercise because I want to look good. And why do I want to look good? For men.

Now that’s something that needs to be google cached for the ages, for in twenty or thirty years, Lynn Peril’s successor is going to write the next “Pink Think,” and she’ll need stuff like that. RandomBird continues in the comments:

But regarding feminism, I neve felt as though it helped me understand anything about being unhappy because I never felt as though I was victim of the patriarchy. I’ve taken two graduate courses in feminist theory and maybe one or two others at the undergradate level and for me, they provided more historical reference and general awareness; what I learned didn’t seem directly applicable to my own life.

(more…)

I feel cheated and misled

Monday, August 28th, 2006

xxxchurch.com.

I thought I had finally found a haven for my nun porn fixation. Boy was I wrong.

Before you close

Monday, August 28th, 2006

Atrios has a nifty graphic for you:
Boom!

It almost puts Al Gore’s graphics to shame.

Economic logic implosion on the right

Monday, August 28th, 2006

Like anyone with right-leaning views, economic conservatives feign logical consistency but can’t seem to stop shooting themselves in the foot when presented with new information.

Let’s review the standard fiscal conservative story:
Competition brings out the best in business owners. Corporations have no incentive to overcharge customers because, if they do, those customers will buy from a cheaper competitor. Corporations have no incentive to underpay effective low- and mid-level employees because, if they do, those employees will be hired by a more ambitious competitor.

You’d be hard pressed to get a libertarian or wingnut to admit that corporations will molest consumers and employees to suck up every last dime and pass it to the top of the pyramid… unless it helps them argue for cutting taxes, it appears.

Jane Galt thinks she’s got this whole economy business figured out. Way back in 2002 she argued for the abolition of the corporate income tax, and now that the CBO claims 70% of that tax is shouldered by domestic labor, Jane’s busting out an enormous “I told you so.” She even quotes herself. Isn’t that adorable?

Of course, what she quotes from her 2002 piece is rather intriguing:

When you put a tax on wages, such as social security or the unemployment tax, the employer doesn’t say, “oh, well, profits dropped 15% this year; better tell Merrill Lynch to issue a ‘sell’ rating” — they pay their employees less, both to lower the tax burden and to recover the lost profits. They hire fewer employees, because each employee is now more expensive. This costs real people money. When you up the corporate tax, either the employees pay, because the firm can’t afford as many of them; the customers pay, because the firms have to raise their prices to cover the taxes; or the shareholders pay because dividends are lower and the company is worth less.

But now I’m confused. Won’t paying people less cost them the best employees? Won’t hiring fewer people leave them at a competitive disadvantage? Won’t charging more for the product leave them behind hungrier competition? Why wouldn’t a corporation just reduce its executive bonus packages and the like?

For Jane’s tax arguments to make sense, she has to admit that executives and capital owners bleed everyone else dry before touching their own income. But that doesn’t jive with the fun stories they like to tell about competition enforcing customer and employee protection, does it?

After all, if a corporation’s profits rise, wouldn’t a conservative argue that, to stay competitive, that corporation would lower costs to consumers, pay their good employees more, or hire more good employees at a fair wage? Why, then, if profits are cut by a corporate income tax, would the first people to suffer be employees and consumers?

If Jane thinks about it, her arguments necessarily mean that abolishing the tax won’t do a damn thing for the employees currently shouldering the burden. She’s now admitted that the workforce and the consumer base are pawns of the corporate fatcats, and if those are the first people burdened by profit loss, then they’ll also be the last to be rewarded by profit gains.

Of course, liberals and progressives know full well the workforce and/or customer base will almost always suffer to keep capital owners in the lap of luxury. Just fire up a cigar at the country club with CEOs from Wal-Mart and Exxon-Mobil to learn a few lessons about working over the typical American.

The CBO numbers merely reflect the ugly nature of corporate business practices. I’m deeply amused that a conservative pointed them out and made my arguments about corporate behavior for me.

Sadly, we can’t rely on the conservative to draw the proper conclusion, but that’s nothing new, is it?

Sometimes you just need a weekend off

Sunday, August 27th, 2006

Sorry for the quiet time this weekend, folks. Rest assured my punkassery will resume manana.

Maybe I should do like Ezra and find us some weekend bloggers…

Sweater dresses are the Key to Countering Dangerous Sexual Encounters on Campus

Saturday, August 26th, 2006

It’s the end of August, and that means vacations for everyone! I don’t get an advisor until next week since we’re waiting for all of the professors to get back; when I left work yesterday two out of the three senior members of our development team fled the building early and headed straight for Europe. And over at Human Events Online, it’s the week where the Claire Boothe Luce interns get to write the articles.

College coeds have all heard the statistic: one out of four college-age women will be the victim of a rape or attempted rape. While that statistic, which comes from a 1985 Mary Koss study reported in Ms. Magazine, has largely been discredited, the message behind it remains firmly in place; young women have a great deal to fear in their college environment. Statistics devoid of context, though, offer no insight into the sexual politics of college campuses.

Actually, Marianne, we do have newer 1 in 4 stats. This page here (simply one of the first google results for “campus avoid sexual assault”) uses one from a study published in 2000, which was way more recent than 1985. But I can see why you’d go retro for this statistic – the US Department of Justice, the National Institute of Justice, and the Bureau of Justice Statistics (all of whom are listed on the title page of the referenced pdf) lack the glamour of Ms. Magazine. Guess what else is back from the ’80′s? Sweater dresses! Hell yeah, I’m excited too!

But please, don’t let this stop you from offering us some insight on the sexual politics of college campuses.

As a college sophomore, I’ve been subject to the same messages as the rest of my peers.

“GO GREEK!”? “Football Fri 7pm”? “Kareoke Thu @ [Your Club]“? “Looking for Roommate 2bdrm close to campus $500/mo+utl”?

I know, I know, it’s a bit overwhelming. But you don’t have to go to every club event or pledge every sorority. The trick to successfull college time management is knowing when to decline an invitiation. Didn’t they cover this last year in orientation?
(more…)

Twisty does it again

Saturday, August 26th, 2006

This most recent post by Twisty Faster should be required reading for all women between the ages of 14 and 35. Graduating high school seniors of both genders should get a copy folded into their diplomas. It should be reprinted in Seventeen and Teen People. It should be adapted into a children’s book.

I like books that reinforce my cynicism.

Friday, August 25th, 2006

Like a zombie, I went out and purchased “I do, but I don’t” on nothing more than Amanda’s recommendation, and I am not yet sorry. More later, if I choose to subject you to more wedding navel-gazing.

Even lamer than IE7: Goldstein on tape

Friday, August 25th, 2006

Poor Jeff Goldstein goes public with his snot-bubble voice in a Hot Air segment he calls the citizen journalist report.

This is the ultimate snorefest. 2 comments down, Allahpundit says he’s “downright giddy at the thought of how much lefty hate-traffic this is going to bring in!” Unfortunately, I’m afraid I can’t muster any hate right now. I’m too groggy and bored. All I can muster is light bemusement over what passes for humor on the right.

Goldstein dresses himself like a redneck flasher and croons hate speech about Israel and Jews, and surprisingly, anyone who passes by him gawks warily at this trainwreck combo of a fake accent and teensy cutoffs and/or wishes they’d never seen him. He alternates this footage with a wannabe liberal who tries to complain about Israel and “zionism” less freakily (though still a little freakily, to be honest).

Somehow the fact that the less racist and frightening of the two losers manages to drive fewer people away is a revelation to the squeaky Goldstein and his cohort(s).

The pacing is uneven and amateur. Better footage could’ve been captured by someone having an aneurysm. The best joke is that liberals have tattoos, which is a really awful thing to say about something that’s supposed to be funny.

If I had to choose a word to describe this piece, it’d be “limp.”

Jeff, I’d just like you to know that Retardo and I are available (albeit at ridiculously high prices) to spiff up your act. No promises we won’t make you look like a self-absorbed poseur with all the wrong opinions and a creepy obsession with touching sisters inappropriately, but we definitely promise it’ll be funny.

KY gov: I look pretty guilty, but it’s the Dems’ fault for finding out

Friday, August 25th, 2006

Governor Ernie Fletcher wants us to forget allll about that little nepotism mishap:

“I don’t think it’s a day of finger-pointing,” Fletcher said. “It’s a day that we say that it’s all over.”

Well said, OJ Governor. But did you do it?

For his part, Fletcher had to acknowledge that evidence “strongly indicates wrongdoing” and that his administration’s actions were “inappropriate.” Four Fletcher appointees to the state Personnel Board – which oversees the state’s Merit System employees – were also forced to resign as part of the deal.

Okay, even though a judge ruled he couldn’t be tried in office, Fletcher was forced to admit he was facing a big pile of damning evidence and confessed that his actions were in fact inappropriate.

I guess he accepts his culpability.

For now, anyway:

Throughout the investigation, Fletcher maintained that the investigation was politically motivated by Stumbo, a Democrat.

Wanna bet within the first 5 seconds of his official 2007 re-election campaign, we hear the same “politically motivated” sob story?

Classic Republican logic: My guilt isn’t the issue, only the intentions of the person who uncovered it. If it was a Democrat, then this was only an America-hating attempt to smear the patriotic opposition. If it was a Republican, then s/he is a traitor to party and country and can never be trusted. What I did doesn’t matter, nor does why I did it, who I did it with, or what I gained from doing it. The only thing that matters is that tattletales f***ing suck.

Microsoft releases IE7 beta, world yawns

Friday, August 25th, 2006

For anyone still hobbling around the web in the rickshaw known as Internet Explorer, please accept my humble apologies and an invitation to try something else. For you Microsoft brand loyalists who wait with baited breath to update your computer now, not later, rush out and grab the new release candidate for Internet Explorer 7!

You won’t believe its new features and cool look:

This new version doesn’t add any new features or major interface changes from the last version. It focuses on bug fixes, along with performance, compatibility and security improvements, Microsoft says.

Oh. Right. No new features, gotcha. And improved performance on an operating system the same company has had in full production forever (in software years). Nothing says “innovation” like taking years to offer bug fixes and speed tweaks against your own OS.

Fortunately, this thing should be screaming in the upcoming version of Windows, yeah?

No release candidate for Vista yet, but Microsoft says “we’re getting close.”

Oh. Right. So the new Windows would be stuck with the old IE if it were released today. Sweet.

Well, whatever. I could care less about IE, to be honest. I crack it open at work to make sure my apps don’t cause monitors to burst into flame when viewed next to that stupid little ‘e’ in the right-hand corner, and that’s about it.

I say we give Microsoft the punkassfinger by not downloading their new IE and using alternate browsers instead.

If you’re still using IE 6 for some reason, keep in mind that when IE7 is finished, Microsoft will be distributing it as a high priority update via Automatic Updates.

You bastards.

[cue Mac evangelists]