Even lamer than IE7: Goldstein on tape
Published by punkass marc August 25th, 2006 in Blogitics, VideoPoor Jeff Goldstein goes public with his snot-bubble voice in a Hot Air segment he calls the citizen journalist report.
This is the ultimate snorefest. 2 comments down, Allahpundit says he’s “downright giddy at the thought of how much lefty hate-traffic this is going to bring in!” Unfortunately, I’m afraid I can’t muster any hate right now. I’m too groggy and bored. All I can muster is light bemusement over what passes for humor on the right.
Goldstein dresses himself like a redneck flasher and croons hate speech about Israel and Jews, and surprisingly, anyone who passes by him gawks warily at this trainwreck combo of a fake accent and teensy cutoffs and/or wishes they’d never seen him. He alternates this footage with a wannabe liberal who tries to complain about Israel and “zionism” less freakily (though still a little freakily, to be honest).
Somehow the fact that the less racist and frightening of the two losers manages to drive fewer people away is a revelation to the squeaky Goldstein and his cohort(s).
The pacing is uneven and amateur. Better footage could’ve been captured by someone having an aneurysm. The best joke is that liberals have tattoos, which is a really awful thing to say about something that’s supposed to be funny.
If I had to choose a word to describe this piece, it’d be “limp.”
Jeff, I’d just like you to know that Retardo and I are available (albeit at ridiculously high prices) to spiff up your act. No promises we won’t make you look like a self-absorbed poseur with all the wrong opinions and a creepy obsession with touching sisters inappropriately, but we definitely promise it’ll be funny.
No one’s gonna believe me, but I wanted to enjoy that segment. Seriously. I liked the premise. But what you said above: OF COURSE people gave the belching redneck a wide berth. Duh?
What might have worked better would have been to pair the long-haired liberal guy with a Pat Buchanan type. Put the paleocon in a suit, have him say a few soothing words about abandoning Israel in order to stave off the End Times or something. It’d have been a more accurate depiction, and it would have been less predictable which anti-Zionist would garner more support.
Waiiit a minute–are you suggesting predictability of the experiment was intended by the producers to be a feature, NOT a bug? Well, my stars, and here I thought the whole citizen journalist enterprise was about bringing integrity to journalism. Hmphf!
No cockslaps? The people demand cocksl…
Oh, never mind, the moment’s passed.
This is the type of material that makes you wonder if the democratization of media technology really was a good idea.
it’d be “limp.”
I think that is Jeff Goldstein described in one word.
Who’s Jeff Goldstein?
I only have one question: When Jeff appears as Jeff in the beginning, is he wearing a puka shell necklace?
Just checking.
Ok, that will teach me to comment before I finish watching the video. Not only is Jeff sporting a puka shell necklace in the beginning of the segment, but he changes to a different natural-bead necklace at the end. Woah.
Dont’ give up your day job, Jeff.
If you have one, that is.
I think his day job is futilely searching for a book deal. It’s steady work.
Goldstein, the ghost of Lenny Bruce would like a word with you. well, when I say “word” I mean “ectoplasmic hobnailed boot in the tuchis.”