Bush may have invented time travel, but it appears Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is now omnipotent.
Think Progress rounded up the latest prediction of falling skies from the conservative community. Several writers openly wondered whether today will bring about the end of the world, and nobody said it better than the NRO’s Joel Rosenberg:
We all hope and pray that August 22 is not the day Ahmadinejad has chosen to launch the apocalypse…
Goodness. If I didn’t know better, I’d say Joel was praying to Ahmadinejad not to rain eternal hellfire upon him. That’s a mighty big compliment to pay to a leader most wingnuts paint as a fanatical puppet.
Later this morning, Ahmadinejad will announce Iran’s official refusal of the incentive package designed to end his country’s enrichment program. I believe this is what the rapture fanatics are referring to when they say things like:
This might well be deemed an appropriate date for the apocalyptic ending of Israel and if necessary of the world.
How exactly would the apocalypse press conference work, anyway?
[Ahmadinejad steps to the podium]
AHMADINEJAD: Good morning. Thank you all for coming. As many of you expected, Iran has decided to reject Western attempts to halt the enrichment of uranium on our soil. Also, I would like to declare the apocalypse. Any questions?
[stunned silence]
REPORTER #1: Uh, I’m sorry, could you repeat that last part?
AHMADINEJAD: We are now in the apocalypse.
REPORTER #2: Where?
AHMADINEJAD: Here. Now. This is the apocalypse.
REPORTER #2: …But nothing’s happened.
AHMADINEJAD: Excuse me? The apocalypse happened, motherf***er! What, that’s not good enough for you? I heard all the prayers for mercy from American infidel dogs and I decided to throw them a uranium-enriched middle finger and state unequivocally that the world has now ended. That is all. Oh, and there are cookies in the back.
well…if there are cookies, then – where’s the bad part?
They’re plutonium and chocolate chip cookies.
But, actually, the apocalypse happened on November 2nd, 2000 (and the Rapture, of couse, where all the pure Bush supporters were taken bodily into heaven). We’re now officially in Hell*, as if you couldn’t tell.
*except for Amanda & Marc, who were already in Texas