The New York Times is dead to me
Published by punkass marc August 13th, 2006 in Filtered Propaganda, Media hackerySo the New York Times had the NSA eavesdropping story before the 2004 election and decided not to run it. [h/t hilzoy] Times sure have changed, haven’t they?
———
Young Charles Foster Kane:
Now see here, Jedediah, the hardworking citizens of this country deserve to know that their government — one supposedly of and for the people — has been spying on them instead of protecting them.
Old Charles Foster Kane:
Calm down, Jedediah. The people will hear about this program when I see fit to tell them. Contrary to what passes for popular opinion these days, information isn’t a right. It’s a privilege. And I am the one who sees fit to grant it.
———
Young Charles Foster Kane:
[laughs] The President? I hate to disappoint you, Bernstein, but I’m not scared of anybody, least of all my slow-witted uncle-in-law. Anyway, the last person who should hold sway over a newsman is the subject of his story, especially one this big.
Old Charles Foster Kane:
Should your sources be taking any liberties, the President will make me out to look the fool. And I refuse to be anyone’s fool, Bernstein.
———
Young Charles Foster Kane:
Don’t you see, Jedediah? There hasn’t been a story this big since the Declaration — and I’m not talking about my Declaration of Principles. The public trust has been violated! These crooks make Boss Jim Gettys look like an angel, and that’s no easy feat. I can’t think of a more important 3-inch headline than “America Betrayed by the Oval Office,” can you?
Old Charles Foster Kane:
News? This isn’t news. The typical American has no idea what it takes to run a country, to run any empire. Sacrifices and compromises must be made, Jedediah. You know it as well as I do. A few tapped phones are worthy of the back page at best.
———
Young Charles Foster Kane:
Yes, yes, it’s the eve of the election. The President could be ruined by the news. Perhaps he should’ve thought about that before he treated the constitution like his handtowel, eh, Bernstein?
Old Charles Foster Kane:
I won’t have our fair and balanced coverage contradicted by this nonsense. Kane columnists have backed this administration and they’ll continue to back it. Why? Because I wish it so, Bernstein. And my reasons satisfy me.
———
Young Charles Foster Kane:
Time to respond? Jedediah, you have a kind heart, but these men don’t deserve your pity. This is the perfect moment to break the news. The sharks will have no time to play word games and twist the truth until nobody remembers which side is up anymore.
Old Charles Foster Kane:
Great men are seldom understood, Jedediah. They deserve time to translate their actions into language the common man has at least a miniscule chance of grasping.
———
Young Charles Foster Kane:
How could you sleep at night if you had information that would’ve changed millions of people’s votes and you chose not to release it to them, Bernstein? We’d be fixing elections with the worst of them.
Old Charles Foster Kane:
Of course I decide the outcome of the election, Bernstein. That’s what the people expect of me.
———
Young Charles Foster Kane:
Forget the details, gentlemen. The Inquirer will run the story about NSA evesdropping on the eve of the election because it’s the right thing to do. It’s the essence of our duty, the core of our responsibility.
Old Charles Foster Kane:
Right and wrong has been a matter of taste for the better part of history, gentlemen. I won’t rock the boat when we’re so close to port.
26 Responses to “The New York Times is dead to me”
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Brilliant.
Am I a bad person for not having seen Citizen Kane? I ffel like I’m commiting some sort of treason to the artform.
Well, we try to tone down the ‘traitor’ rhetoric here at punkassblog.
That said, JG, you are a repulsive traitor. You are easily the film-fan’s Judas. Please send me a photo ASAP so that I might construct a likeness to burn in effigy.
[Seriously, though, very enjoyable film. It's worth the ride.]
I really, really want to type four words now. It’s the four words that everyone wants to say or type whenever anyone admits they haven’t seen Citizen Kane. Hell, JackGoff, you might even know them, since they’re pretty much a pop culture standby at this point. But in good conscience, on the off chance you’ve never heard them, I won’t type them.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t really want to type them.
It’s like picking at a scab. Or scratching poison ivy.
I’ll be over here with the DTs.
Well, I have a profile up on blogspot, PA Marc, with a pic. Burn away.
Oh, and the DVD is currently 1st in my queue for Netflix. Maybe I woun’t be so traitorous once it has arrived and I get some time to watch.
And Auguste, FOAD? Are those the words?
Actually, my favorite line is not the one Auguste is thinking of. It’s …
“You supply the prose poety, I’ll supply the war.”
I just got this mental image of the New York Times sitting in a leather chair, its last few breaths slowly escaping, as it drops a snow globe to the ground, quietly whispering… “Dignity”
Jack,
Totally kidding about the traitor stuff, man, (tried to be as over the top as possible) but glad to know you’ll get to enjoy it soon.
Favorite bit:
KANE
As Charles Foster Kane, who has eighty-
two thousand, six hundred
and thirty-one shares of Metropolitan
Transfer - you see, I do have a rough
idea of my holdings - I sympathize
with you. Charles Foster Kane is a
scoundrel, his paper should
be run out of town and a committee
should be formed to boycott him. You
may, if you can form such a committee,
put me down for a contribution of one
thousand dollars.
Yeah, I was being facetious about the whole traitor thing. I did actually put it in my queue though. I’m not sure why I never got around to watching it, since old movies are something of a hobby of mine, thanks to Netflix and having AMC growing up.
I just now for the first time have OnDemand (boy, it would go well with a new LCD TV, cough cough) and am really enjoying the many, many free movies they have - including at the moment most of Hitchcock’s oeuvre.
Watched the first half of Marnie last night. DAMN that’s a long movie.
I just thought of it. I need to be getting paid to shill these entertainment services. I’m fucking missing out!
punkass marc, can I spoil Citizen Kane for Jack? Will you ban me if I do?
LOL. No, I won’t ban you, js, but Auguste may die of jealousy…
Then I guess I’ll give him the chance to do it first, since it’s obviously causing him some pain.
I already know what Rosebud is, guys.
Yep. The maddest reefer in all the land.
Heh. Damn you, Jack, and your pop culture knowledge.
Actually, I don’t think knowing what Rosebud was would have spoiled the movie for me, since I couldn’t bring myself to give a shit either way.
I’m trying to find the Family Guy scene (”There. I just saved you two long boobless hours”) on YouTube, but no luck.
Sigh. No matter how hoity-toity I try to make these posts, we still wind up talking drugs and boobs.
Great men are seldom understood, Jedediah.
I think I knew what Rosebud was before I saw the film. It doesn’t exactly spoil it. Either way, I need to see it again as most of this post escaped me. First, though: The Maltese Falcon.
No matter how hoity-toity I try to make these posts, we still wind up talking drugs and boobs.
All Limbaugh all the time? Or is that just boobs who do drugs?
First, though: The Maltese Falcon.
Wow.
Seriously, watch that. Soon.