…or at least a tender slice of prime rib, don’t you think?
Yes, Cuba’s the tasty morsel our country has long eyed with lip-licking lust, and now that Castro’s taking a TO for surgery while brother Raul grabs temporary control of the country, we’re prepping for a meal.
Sensing the possible end of Castro’s regime, the US wants to play the role of insurgent — something it’s beginning to understand quite well — and give an assist to those on the inside who would like to return Cuba to the good old days, when Michael Corleone and Hyman Roth owned the place and Fredo could catch any kind of sex show he pleased:
The U.S. government, an implacable foe, tightened sanctions and increased support for Cuban dissidents, seeking to undermine a succession and foster a quick transition to multiparty elections and a free-market economy.
Of course, control of Cuba might not come so easily:
Brian Latell, a former CIA analyst who has watched Cuba for decades, believes Raul, once an orthodox Communist and now a pragmatist, will emerge as Cuba’s next leader with the backing of the army, keep the lid on dissent and push through economic reforms following China’s model.
Right now, Raul’s in that early part of the competition where Simon Cowell says something about how, if the voters at home have a lick of sense, they’ll make him the next Cuban Idol, but we’re a long way off from deciding and we don’t have a bead on whether the people of Cuba find him accessible enough to want to dial in and press 1 for Raul. Of course, it’s worth noting that pressing 2, 3, 4, or even 6530987 will also register an official vote for Raul.
Let’s be realistic. The army has followed Raul for decades. Unless dissent develops within the ranks of military leaders, it’s hard to believe Cuba’s Communist Party will topple. As the Reuters article points out, there are few people in Cuba who remember a time before Castro, and I’m not convinced your average Cuban believes much in the ol’ US of A way of life these days. That little question matters because, let’s face it, everyone in both countries knows that “Cuban democracy” is a fine label stitched over the less sexy “American patsy” brand name.
Now, suppose GWB doesn’t get what he wants, and after Fidel goes to that Great Party in the Sky, the Commies hold onto Cuba. Will he be tempted to create yet another front and get Cuba while the gettin’s good?
Dubya’s quite a baseball fan, and while we’ve successfully plucked a number of Cuban players already, surely there are more to be had. And wouldn’t some of them look downright American in the red, white, and blue uniforms of the Texas Rangers? Yeehaw!
I can’t see Dubya letting all that major league talent go to waste. Plus, I’m pretty sure GOP Senator Norm Coleman’s Dad would love to follow the Fredo Trail around Havana, don’t you think?
Seriously, don’t dismiss the smoldering wingnut desire for a secret little sex shack right out back behind Florida. The Rethugs like to make a stink about cleaning up America, but they also want a place where they can go to unwind with a stoagie after a nice orgy with girls who kinda look 18 if you squint just right. I suspect they hope that if we can score us a playground in Cuba, we can keep the extra dirty stuff out of America and down there with the brown people where it belongs (but still only a short hop in a lobbyist’s jet away).
If Cubans are smart, they’ll keep a Castrobot functioning until 2008, when President Al Gore will probably look a little less like a leering wolf with fork and knife in hand and an uncomfortable bulge in his overalls.
What’s funny to me is that the Republicans need Castro very badly. Without him as a villian, they can’t hold together the anti-Castro vote in Florida, which is a big swing state.
Oh yes please, let’s get involved with Cuba now; it’s not like we have anything *else* going on these days.
The Rethugs like to make a stink about cleaning up America, but they also want a place where they can go to unwind with a stoagie after a nice orgy with girls who kinda look 18 if you squint just right.
As Ilkka says over on Sixteen Volts, why to the ReThugs need to go to Cuba to satisfy their sexual lust for hot young cuban brown bodies when they could have done so in Canada, which, until recently had an age of consent of 14.
I mean, if you are going to impute impure thoughts to these guys, surely they had more leverage over Canada (what with the Canadian economy being so tied to the US) and there now being a conservative government in Canada.
I suspect that Mr Punk Ass has been spending too much time with Mrs Palmer.
Oh, Mrs. Palmer — was that your mom’s name?
What point is Loki trying to make? I believe PA Marc was referencing El Rushbo with his comment…[check's sixteen volts]…oh, I get it. Loki’s looking for a little Cuban action as well. And is pissed that you’ve called him out on it.
conservatives everywhere generally want to raise the age of consent, whereas leftists and gays are the ones who want to lower it
Shorter ilkka: “The damn libruls and gays are moral deviants and I have no basis whatsoever for that belief.”
and this is funny too:
But we certainly can’t blame PunkAss Marc and other American homosexuals if they honestly didn’t even know that their Canadian counterparts are currently engaging in such demands.
Shorter ilkka: “All libruls are teh GAY!!!!”
Yes, I suspect Amanda will be disappointed to hear this.
Eric Johnson, on the other hand, will be inexplicably excited.
Heh, the gays want to lower it? I suppose he is saying it would not bother him if they lowered the age of consent so that he could cruise a junior high school. I do believe him that Republicans want to raise the age of consent. The higher it is for women, the more women they can legally block from using contraception or having abortions. Pregnant teenagers are the Republicans’ bread and butter.
Amanda demonstrates an inability to think when she says:
Heh, the gays want to lower it? I suppose he is saying it would not bother him if they lowered the age of consent so that he could cruise a junior high school. I do believe him that Republicans want to raise the age of consent. The higher it is for women, the more women they can legally block from using contraception or having abortions. Pregnant teenagers are the Republicans’ bread and butter.
You see, these age of consent laws generally specify an age range, so that consenting teenagers can actually legally have sex.
So, if you set the AoC at 18, or even 21, you have to allow women of a younger age to get access to contraceptives.
The issue that conservatives are aiming their guns at is exploitative older males and preventing them from having sex with young females. And the reason for that is that the cost to women of an unwanted pregnancy is generally a lot higher than it is for men.
Just ask my mother. Ohhh, sorry, you can’t, she’s been dead for 40 years after she contracted an unwanted pregnancy. Oh well.
Personally, I think that the penalties for women who bang younger males should be low to non-existant, because I can’t think of too many normal males who would run away from a little action with good looking teachers. However, I think the penalties for males who prey on younger females should be stiff!
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I can’t think of too many normal males who would run away from a little action with good looking teachers. However, I think the penalties for males who prey on younger females should be stiff!
Loki, just because the women you’ve fucked hate sex doesn’t mean women in general do.
Just ask my mother. Ohhh, sorry, you can’t, she’s been dead for 40 years after she contracted an unwanted pregnancy. Oh well.
I’m sorry for your loss. It doesn’t mean that gays and libruls are trying to impregnate little teenagers and to rape little boys. AoC in our country is 18. I am perfectly fine with that. If a guy 18 and older has sex with someone younger than 18, I am perfectly okay with that being called statutory rape.
However, if the girl ALWAYS has access to contraceptives and has enough education about sex, then your mother’s tragedy will not be repeated. Don’t try to paint us as sadistic people who want girls to die or boys to be raped, because if you had read any other article on this blog, you would know that straw-liberal ain’t us.
Over at ilkka’s:
JackGoff’s profile photo could get him/her in an “It’s Pat” remake. He/she’s got that chubby, indeterminate lesbian thing going.
Can’t post a response, because blogger is fucked, so I’ll just do it here.
Yep, you’re right, dude. I’m a lesbian. I should have known it when I started dating women.
Damn. I suppose I really should get around to reading some of these-here right-wing blogs more often. clearly I’ve been missing out.
…on second thought, there’s a lot in here that needs some serious de-linting; and then I have to re-alphabetize my bookshelves, and..
junk science said:
I can’t think of too many normal males who would run away from a little action with good looking teachers. However, I think the penalties for males who prey on younger females should be stiff!
Loki, just because the women you’ve fucked hate sex doesn’t mean women in general do.
Wow, how did you get that from what I wrote?
You know, they didn’t complain too much about the tongue action they got …
You think that because “normal males” like sex, teachers who try to fuck them shouldn’t be punished, but because normal females apparently don’t like sex, male teachers who try to fuck them should be punished. How do you know “normal females” don’t like that hot teacher action?
Speculation, but timely:
Cuba’s likely transition and its politics, by Sam Farber
Shorter ilkka: “All libruls are teh GAY!!!!”
I’m not gay.
speaking of poking the bear, didn’t one of the wingnuts write some wankass romantic novel that included a bear being used to molest a teenage girl?
Scooter Libby wrote that book. It was called The Apprentice.
Oh, and she wasn’t teenage. Here’s the quote:
At age ten the madam put the child in a cage with a bear trained to couple with young girls so the girls would be frigid and not fall in love with their patrons. They fed her through the bars and aroused the bear with a stick when it seemed to lose interest.
That’s right. Istr some mention of a dead deer in there as well from a review/mockfest.