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After reminding us of Cindy Sheehan’s t-shirt arrest, Crooks and Liars links to this recent event at Selves and Others:

This afternoon, drinking a cup of coffee while sitting in the Jesse Brown V.A. Medical Center on Chicago’s south side, a Veterans Administration cop walked up to me and said, “OK, you’ve had your 15 minutes, it’s time to go.” “Huh?”, I asked intelligently, not quite sure what he was talking about.

“You can’t be in here protesting,” officer Adkins said, pointing to my Veterans For Peace shirt.”Well, I’m not protesting, I’m having a cup of coffee,” I returned, thinking that logic would convince Adkins to go back to his earlier duties of guarding against serious terrorists. Flipping his badge open, he said, “No, not with that shirt. You’re protesting and you have to go…

The FCC and friends have done an admirable job protecting our children from freethink-based ribaldry over the airwaves, but they’ve dropped the ball on shutting down the most unregulated communication medium in America: the chest.

I’ll be honest. The only reason I’m a liberal is because I once saw this t-shirt:

My fragile little mind was forever warped. Visions of doobies and ’60s dancing girls filled my frontal lobes, forever occupying the space normally reserved for golf and learning how to put your wife in her place.

If you think about it, t-shirts are 100 times worse than television. A bad word or a wardrobe malfunction flits by in less than a second. But an offensive t-shirt could be shoved in your face and the face of your child the entire time you’re enjoying a family lunch at Hooters. You don’t want your kids to turn out like me, do you?

As is the case whenever the feds drop the ball, local authorities had to step in, this time to stop the obscene protest going on at the VA Medical Center. Thank god that cop saw the “Veteran for Peace” shirt for what it was: traitory. I mean traitoriety. Traitordom? Let’s go with traitorousness. Calls for peace this day and age translate into Arabic as “Please come shoot us all in the face, you evil Muslim bastards,” and for a former soldier to bend over and ask for it like that chaffes the hide of many a petty authoritarian.

If you don’t think we need to nip this in the bud right this moment, I’ll remind you a little girl was recently expelled from a church-clothes shopping trip in Missouri for wearing a bandana featuring peace signs. Peace signs. Sound familiar? She’s practically waving the terrorists between her legs with that fairy tale love-not-war crap.

Please, folks, we have to stop the peace madness. Every time you flash the deuce or wear that well-hung Mercedes-Benz symbol, a terrorist gets his AK.

Now where did I put my cumdumpster shirt? Oh, there it is: