Just in time to compete with McDonalds’ “Pureed BigMacs served via firehose” campaign
Published by Kyso Kisaen May 28th, 2006 in We EatYou know what the worst part about eating at KFC is? It’s too elegant. All that deep-fried chicken and potato flake goodness, served in separate sections on a paper or syrofoam tray. You need a fork for practically every damn menu item. I’m a busy woman, I don’t have time for that shit. If I wanted a four-course meal with crystal and candlelight, I’d go to Boston Market.
Well, KFC has heard my cries. Sure, you still need a utencil to eat mashed potatoes, but they’ve thoughtfully combined everything else into a slop they call “Famous Bowls.”
Feel good about lunch! Introducing KFC’s Famous Bowls!
Freshly prepared with layers of your KFC favorites - a generous serving of our creamy mashed potatoes, sweet kernel corn, bite size pieces of all-white meat crispy chicken, topped with our homestyle gravy and 3-cheese blend.
Before I could say, Mmmmmmmmm-mm! My roommate, a hardcore KFC fan, pointed out one possibly relevent fact-since when the fuck does KFC have a 3-cheese blend? There is no other menu item that features a three-cheese blend, which means they went out and aquired a whole new source of saturated fat and cholestorol just to sprinkle on top of a whole bowl or carbs and deep-fried things. Cheese on gravy? Jesus! And don’t even point poutine out to me like that makes the idea at all acceptable.
Am I the only person here who would have to be real drunk to order this without feeling embarassed? Or that “…and then s/he ordered the Famous Bowl,” should be a prefectly acceptable reason for refusing to accept another date with a person, however awesome they otherwise were?
UPDATED:
Apparantly, slapping some of your key ingredients in a bowl takes “years of testing and development.”
Also, from a eG Forum customer review:
The chicken was soggy from the lackluster gravy thrust on top of the contents of the bowl…..it just lacked any flavor at all…..as well as texture….it was all kind of “gloppy”…plus I now have a massive “saturated fat” headache…I can actually feel the fat particles swirlling around in my bloodstream….I have to go do a shooter of niacin now to try and regain the 3 days I just cut off my life by eating the Famous Bowl….
ugghh……
But, there were 3 “healthy” ladies who came in after me and they were so excited to eat the gravy bowl…..they loved it judging by the smiles….
I am a “Fat Guy” and am usually a big fan of anything fried and gravy
And that was the nice review.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm:
The forum people are actually quite funny.
The only problem I see with this is in the presentation. It needs to be LaBanized. First the bowl has to go. It needs an oversized handcrafted styrofoam plate. Centered on that is a dab or two of mashed heirloom potatoes topped by an uneven number (but not more than 7) of corn kernals from a cob flown in from a almost inaccessible Andean valley … Then the gravy, based on the secret family recipe of the restaurant dishwasher who is an illegal immigrant but sends most of his wages back to the almost inaccessible valley where the corn is grown.Then the chicken which is from free range chickens,which themselves were hatched from eggs laid by free range hens leading an idyllic existance in a chicken coop that makes your average McMansion look like a hovel. Top that with the three cheeses being very very careful not to topple over the pile or you might just as well scrape it into a bowl and cut your profit margin in half. Then around the perimeter strew some scrapings from a windshield bug screen.
Is this product real or a joke? I can’t tell, ever since those shaking salad ads a few years ago. I thought that my boyfriend ad taped an SNL skit to fool me with!
Not surprisingly, it also has 2110 mg of sodium and 79 grams of carbohydrates.
…
That fits into my diet, I just need to cut out the 2 gallons of ocean water I am drinking a day
Nope, you’re not the only one disbelieving about this menu choice, I too have wondered if it’s just me, and if my own revulsion is disproportionate to the significance of whatever it means. I’ve actually been surfing around this weekend at the usual bloghaunts, hoping to find just this sort of opinion. The thing is I come from white trash, where dinner, or “vittles” could be any bowl o slop all layered and random like this, but that’s what poor white trash learns to eat, it’s passed down generations like a subcultural code.
Makes me wonder about the target demographi, I can’t imagine this flying outside the South. I could go on, but suffice it to say, I too am physically sickened at the thought of eating this mess and appreciate your commentary and this blog in general.
KFC has the same parent company as Taco Bell (KY Derby presenting sponsors) Yum Brands, so they presumably just got some of theirs. They also got this marketing strategy from Taco Bell–if you need a new product, just find a new way to put together your existing ingredients.
I’d love to get a sample of their “three-cheese blend”, separate it into component cheeses, and see if anyone can distinguish one from another.
Using KFC’s calorie calculator (they, for some reason, don’t have the ‘famous bowl’ option on the list) I’ve calculated that the Famous Bowl is 1100 calories, 50g fat, 14g saturated fat, 95mg cholesterol, 2970mg!!! of Sodium, and 119g of Carbs.
And ohbytheway - that’s WITHOUT the three cheese blend.
2,970 mg of sodium? Criminy. Just save yourself some money and go get a salt lick. I think they don’t have the nutrition info up because it’s a new item/temporary item/participating stores only item.
Hmm, flawedplan, I wonder what it is about paying fast food prices to eat like poor white trailer trash (and 14 g os faturated fat and 95 mg of cholesterol) that’s supposed to make you “feel good about lunch.”
I think they don’t have the nutrition info up because it’s a new item/temporary item/participating stores only item.
I just figured it was cause they didn’t want angry customers with pitchforks and torches congregating outside their corporate offices.
Well, if we as fast-food consumers didn’t go into all-out revolt over the McRib sandwich or that Burger King ad campaign that suggested their chicken ceasar sandwich was more closely related to a salad than a burger, I think it’s safe to say that KFC was not in any danger. There is no food atrocity or bullshit marketing out there that we won’t contentedly swallow.
Once again I thank whoever it was that convinced me to quit eating meat.
I love that you posted on this. My husband and I saw the ad this weekend; he couldn’t stop laughing, and I was left wondering what that marketing meeting was like. (”Hey, let’s just throw all this shit in a bowl!” “Brilliant!”) What’s next? A handy strap that converts it to a feedbag for on-the-go gorging? Wouldn’t put it past ‘em.
Nah, you’re all wrong Auguste. The bowl is only 690 calories. Your flaw came in assuming that a full order of all the ingridients would be used in the bowl, which is not the case. Incredibly, if you were to order the bowl for both lunch and dinner with a diet soda you would be on a definite diet plan if you were an average male.
There is a huge misconception about fast food, mainly that it is always calorie laden and will lead to obesity, as portrayed in Supersize Me. This simply is not true. It is possible to eat fast food every single meal and lose weight, especially if you are male, it would be more difficult to lose weight as a female, but would be possible, especially with exercise. For instance a 5′10 male who was completely sedentary would be allowed 1,700 calories a day, this is before any calories are burned from walking, working, driving to work, or heaven forbid excercising which would raise the allowable calorie total. One of these bowls for each meal with a diet soda would actually constitute a diet plan for the said individual, the same would apply for one Whopper at BK for each meal so long as that is all that is consumed during the course of a day. Mostly it is the fries and the regular drink that can take you from being well within your calories limitations to having surplus calories in a given day. I know this first hand because I lost 50 lbs eating essentially nothing but fast food. I found this very helpful because I knew exactly the # of calories I was consuming in EVERYTHING that I ate because of the information I could find on the internet. Granted I did eat Subway more often than anything else because it was more filling for the calories, but I would also mix in KFC or a Whopper or Big Mac or sandwich from Wendy’s on a regular basis.
Matt, those 690 calories have around 50% or more of the average daily recommended value of fat (31 g, and that’s based on a 2,000 calorie diet, not a 1,700). You eat three of those a day with a diet coke and you might be coming out ahead caloriewise, but your stomach and your colon are going to work far harder than they should.
And quite frankly I wouldn’t agree to share a bathroom with a person who eats as much fast food as you claim to.
Plus, food just doesn’t taste as good if you’re a heavy fast food consumer. I was shocked by how much better food started tasting after I gave up fast food entirely. And after a year, when I started to occasionally eat it again, even McDonalds tasted far better than I remembered. As far as fast food, takeout, or even restaurant food is concerned, moderation is always the key.
My bad, 31 g of fat is only about 48% of your recommended total of fat a day. Still talking a 2,000 calorie diet, though.
Just try it! One bowl isnt going to kill you. Get over it people. Your going to die eventually and besides its delicious!..im not saying eat it everday but the ocassional splurge wont kill u!…what a bunch of Punk Ass Drama queens. Cheese, Gravy, Fried chicken, Corn and Potatoes baby! yuuuuuum ..just like momma used to make.
Jackie, I’ve been devoting way too much time to looking at this thing, and you are the first person I’ve encountered who called it delicious. I’ve heard “OK” “Needs some work” and “Maybe if they omitted the corn,” but that’s about as raving as the reviews have gotten. And that’s the minority. “Soggy,” “bland,” and “dissappointing” are far more common reviews.
Sorry, but if I’m going to spend $5 on overloading my body with fat and sodium and cholesterol, I’m going to have to go with the Chipotle burrito or a Quarter Pounder or some Arby’s. For that kind of artery timebomb, my tastebuds better be having a damn orgasm. You’re right, though. We are all going to die anyway. So why spend your precious time on earth eating crap food?
Kyso. True enough that the fat intake from making this a regular diet would be off the charts probably leading to high cholesterol in the long haul. But on the same token, there is no reason that it would need to lead to obesity if the calories were monitored. I’m not suggesting that this would be a healthy diet for the long haul, or suggesting that anyone should eat exclusively fast food for a long period of time, merely that 1. eating it can actually constitute a legitimate diet plan, or be part of a diet plan for losing weight, and 2. It is better to eat unhealthily for a time to lose weight and actually be slim, than to be overweight. Risk for heart attack, stroke, heart disease, etc. is much higher for an overweight person than for a person within their acceptable weight range, however they achieved that objective.
Matt, I’m pretty sure that’s not true. You can be as thin as you like, but if your arteries are choked with cholesterol than you’re going to have the stroke or heart attack. If you’re eating that much salt, you’re going to get high blood pressure. The reason these things are linked with obesity is that obesity often occurs when you’ve eaten way too much of the stuff that causes this shit. It’s not the fat that gives you diabetes, it’s the sugar overloads that probably helped make the fat. If you’re eating <2,000 calories a day and it’s all sugar and carbs and HFCS, ok, maybe that sugar is being burned as energy and not stored as fat-but it is still there, still being processed and it can still fuck you later. Being fat may make it worse, more obvious, or harder to correct, but that doesn’t mean being thin is a magic shield. If you’re that concerned about chronic effects, then you do need to look at the long term. Being thin when you’re 25 is not going to help in 15 years when that Famous Bowl is still sitting in your arteries.
I’d rather be twenty pounds overwieght with a clear aorta than model-thin and unable to jog down the street without turning bright red and getting winded.
And the colon cancer. Shoving that much saturated fat through your bowels is begging for a colostomy bag.
Sure, it’s better to be a healthy weight than to be way too fat, but that doesn’t mean that losing weight at any cost is a good idea. There is also some room to argue what “way too fat” is. I’m a bit overwieght (although for this area of the country I’m practically Nicole Richie) and I’d like to loose weight. But I’m going to exercise. If I stay this weight but get in better shape, in the long run I will be better off than if I kept sitting on my ass but was careful to only eat 1,900 calories of crap a day.
Do you work for Subway? Because if you don’t, I can’t see why you are this committed to validating the idea that a predominantly fast food diet can be a healthy lifestyle, even for short amounts of time.
A starvation diet is itself bad for you, calcium absorbtion fucks your bones up and you’ll suffer for it unless calicum and iron rich foods like fresh fruit and vegetables alogn side tons of milk.
Then you have to deal with the sorts of carbs you consume, different kinds of carbs are processed and stored in your body in different ways, and the same goes with fats. overdosing on either will kill you quick as well, because that crap you’re eating has to go through your liver eventually, which will eventually break down because of all the sodium and fatty acids and carbohydrates it’s trying and failing to filter properly.
and lets not even get into what a starvation diet does to your stomach lining itself, can you say “stomach ulcers”?
And a grown adult male should be eating 2500 calories a day preferrably. and of course due to variances in metabolism, some people should eat more than that, some people less naturally.
eating the right things until you’re satiated, exercising regularly and not dumping tons of borderline toxic crap into your system is the only real way to keep your weight down ot its optimum, which will not neccesarily be “thin”.
Kyso: Are you actually suggesting that it would be better to be 20 lbs overweight than to eat unhealthily for 3 months out of your life in order to lose 20 lbs? Or better to be 40 lbs overweight than to eat unhealthily for 6 months. Or 60lbs overweight than to eat mostly fast food for a year? I can tell you what, if I was 20 or more lbs overweight, I’d rather be on my 1,200 calorie Big Mac diet plan, KFC bowl plan diet, bacon grease diet plan, Marshall Plan, or whatever diet plan WORKS for you, drop my weight, and ride off into the sunset being able to return to a normal 2,000 calorie balanced diet than to worry about the effects of eating a high fat diet for such a short period of time. I’m no doctor, but I would have to assume that the health risks of being 20 lbs or more overweight would increase your health risk factors much more than eating fast food for a few months out of your life. Besides if 3 months did you in…remember how you ate in college?? LOL Also, this would be an almost trivial time period compared to the fat bath the Atkins for life diet crowd are undertaking and they seem to be surviving…
Side note: I’m 6′3, 165, and started out at over 220. I lost over 50 lbs in around 6 months, largely, but not exclusively, on various combinations of fast foods. I now do not eat any more fast food than the average person and cannot imagine I’ve irreparably clogged my arteries or permanently damaged my health in such a short period of time, additionally my blood pressure is normal (from being high), I’m slender, go to the beach with impunity, am having lots of sex, and feel good about myself. There’s a helluva a lot to be said for quality of life. I suppose if because for that short of time I ate poorly I’m destined for a heart attack, so be it, that’s the breaks. I’ll take that chance living a quality life instead of being fat and happy and dying at 80 any day. And I can’t imagine that most other people wouldn’t either.
Matt, you’re insane. I just finished a week of heavy fast-food consumption and I feel awful. I could not imagine pushing myself to eat this way for a month, much less three. Serioulsy, I had maybe 4 fast food meals last week and this week all I want is fruit smoothies and fruit and more fruit and maybe some vegetables. The very idea of another cheeseburger is both tantalizing and nauseating.
Again, all I have to draw on is anecdotal experience, but I would hazard to guess that fruit smoothies won’t do much to curb your apetite, will not fill you up, and will give you a sugar rush which will cause you to feel hungry (although perhaps i misunderstand and you aren’t trying to lose weight?). If you were trying to lose weight you’d be better off cooking up a huge pan of veggies loaded with hot sauce with just a tiny bit of chicken, you’ll feel incredibly full afterwards while ingesting very few calories, OR you could goi out and eating a 6 inch sub from Subway, or even a Big Mac. In the end it’s all about being satisfied counting and consuming the number of calories you need to eat to lose weight to lose however you can accomplish that (unless you are on the Atkins or South Beach diets which do work even if you are consuming more calories than you are theoretically allowed according to you BMR or RMR, but that’s a comples issue and another story entirely). Obviously some ways of eating while counting calories are probably more healthy than others, but accomplishing your goal is more important than how you get there as long as your temporary habits aren’t manifested in your diet once you reach your goal.