We’re here on my living room couch with a running diary on the Spurs-Mavs game 5. If you ever wanted a window into the the gametime mania of a sports fan, here’s your look at one.
Going into the contest, I’ve been engaging in soothing pessism – the comforting feeling of assuming the worst. The Mavs are up 3-1 in the series and need only one more win in the next 3 games to defeat the defending champs and advance. It seems unlikely that Dallas can beat San Antonio 4 straight times, clinch the series in the Spurs’ arena, and see the Spurs fail in cruch time when their entire season depends on winning tonight. As such, I’ve been telling myself we’re going to lose this one. That way, if we win, it’ll be a huge surprise. If we don’t, well, I was expecting it anyway, and hopefully that’ll help me catch some z’s afterwards.
Mavs lose the tip. Hooray! We’ve lost the tip in every game we’ve won, so I like our odds a little more already. Wait — too much optimism. Must maintain my calming skepticism.
First Quarter
11:53: Michael Finley commits a dumb offensive foul to kick off the game. Sports fans can be petty creatures. Dallas let Finley go before the year, and to pay us back he took less money to go to our arch rivals and coast to a title. Note that I assume he’s being vindictive; thus, I take great pride in him playing a role in the Spurs getting punked by his former teammates.
Commercial break: “You poke it, you own it.” Ashamed to be 1) a sports fan 2) a guy and 3) looking at Burt Reynolds’ withered face and career.
8:25: Dirk Nowitzki leans in to draw a foul, and while Manu Ginobili doesn’t actually commit one, Dirk accidentally hits his shot anyway. Dirk has a tendency to look to the refs to bail him out in big games, and the start of this trend early has me worried. Like most diehards, I’m always looking for my team’s good and bad trends to play out, and the slightest whiff of a bad data point can send me into the “oh god, here we go again” rant.
Oh god, here we go again.
Commercial break: Some squeaky, shabbily-dressed woman expresses shock that a guy wants her to enter his number into her cell phone right after meeting him. She describes her phone as “precious territory.” I describe it as “empty.”
2:17: Another Dirk layup keeping us in the game, cuts it to 23-18… only to have it answered by Ginobili. Another Dirk jump shot in response. He’s feeling it, and I think he figured out that he will need to actually make buckets and not free throws in this one.
1:00: An emphatic slam by sleepy-eyed Maverick Marquis Daniels leaves the Mavs down 25-22, but a nasty dunk by your squad always makes you feel like you’re right back in it. Down 3, down 10, there’s something visceral about seeing a player in your colors shove it down the opposition’s throat.
End of quarter: 29-24, Spurs. San Antonio had more energy, which makes sense with so much on the line for them. Will they keep it up, tire, or wilt if the Mavs can keep it close?
Shit, I’m losing my pessimism. This could cost me.
Second Quarter
10:25: Duncan overpowers lumbering Erick Dampier for an easy layup and a foul. Spurs up 33-29. Oh, wait, I’m sorry, 35-29 — Duncan missed the free throw and got his own miss for an easy putback. Watching your team lose is hard. Watching them get outhustled causes stinging pains right below the kidneys.
8:00: Duncan’s 6 of 6. Spurs 41-35.
6:32: Dirk takes and makes a twisting, running 10 footer to cut it to a 2 point San Antonio lead. Despite watching it for the last 8 years, I remain awed by the grace and agility of the 7-foot-tall MVP candidate from Big D.
Commercial break: The Great Coors Light Metal Phallus would like to remind Miller Lite’s “Man Law” ads that the best symbols of male dominance are a bit more subtle. And yes, we’re talking about a giant silver penis train being subtle. If you’ve seen any “Man Laws” being passed, you feel me.
6:19: Keith Van Horn enters the game! He broke his hand 6 weeks ago; this is his first appearance since the surgery. I’m sure rust won’t be a factor.
5:58: Keith stood around like a real pro on our possession, then immediately fouled Tim Duncan on the other end. Holla.
5:20: Refs understandably miss a call on a tough angle and say the ball went off the Mavs. Replays clearly show SA’s Ginobili touched it last, but announcer Steve Kerr says “I don’t know, it looks like it might’ve gone off of Manu, it’s tough to tell.” Actually, it isn’t. And did I mention that Steve Kerr used to be a Spur? And that he singlehandedly knocked the Mavs out of the playoffs the last time these two teams met with a ridiculously hot 4th quarter from 3-point land? No? Maybe that’s because the thought of that quarter causes light body spasms and because I’m trying not to break my TV. Steve Kerr played with most of these guys and every time he’s generous to them during the telecast, I try to remind myself that I’m sure he’s being fair and I just miss the times he balances Spurs praise with Mavs compliments. It doesn’t really work though; I want Kerr’s right arm mounted on my wall.
3:17: Duncan his his 8th of 8 attempts and picks up another foul on Dallas. I’m now having flashbacks to watching Kobe Bryant score 60+ on Dallas in 3 quarters earlier this year. It’s amazing how easy it is for us to dredge up bad sports moments, isn’t it? They must occupy some prime frontal lobe real estate.
1:13: STACKHOUSE SLAM. Mavs up 1, 55-54! Duncan is 10 for 10 and Dallas is somehow up 1.
1:00 Van Horn picks up foul number 4 in a matter of minutes on, guess who, Duncan. This is an impressive feat and a creative way to fill up the boxscore. Tim doinks the second free throw but the Spurs climb Dirk’s back for the rebound and feed Duncan for a slam. 11 for 11.
0:00.2: DIRK SLAM in the open court! Tied at 57 going into the half despite the biggest playoff game of Duncan’s career: 28 points, 11 field goals on 11 tries, and several massive bruises to the Mavs defenders’ egos.
Halftime
Hey, hey, Kobe Bryant is the guest-pundit for TNT tonight. He’s wearing a sleeveless sweater and tie for the creepy Mormon look that’s all the rage in LA. Much to my chagrin, he comports himself well, actually offering concise, insightful analysis. That’s more irksome than Duncan pummeling Dallas for 28.
Third Quarter
10:42: Spurs PG Tony Parker makes a nifty no look pass. Well, it’d be nifty if DeSagana Diop played for the Spurs, anyway.
Commercial break: The Dodge “fairy” ad. Between that and the previously mentioned ads that’ve been run several times already, you’d think the MBA was being marketed to sexist bastards. Oh, but there’s the WNBA ad of the night to come and make it all better. Good thing they only showed the pretty ones, though, right?
4:28: Not much to report as the Mavs slid from up 4 to down 3 and counting. Oops, 12-12 for Duncan and another foul. That’s an NBA record for best playoff game start ever, folks. Now it’s 77-71, Spurs, and I am now going to return to soothing pessismism land… except you can’t really do that in-game. The Mavs sparked my hopes and now I feel the corresponding dread of coughing up this game. Sports Dread is like Medical Test Dread or “I think we need to talk” Dread. You want it to be over and yet can’t bear to go through it.
3:32: 81-71 Spurs off a steal and layup by Eva Longoria’s sexual pupil. Timeout Dallas so I can savor the moment. Yum.
2:50: Duncan misses one!
End of the 3rd: Mavs make a nice little run with effort plays by Josh Howard and some buckets by Dirk Nowitzki to but it to 81-78, Spurs.
The consensus attitude about quarters like the upcoming one is that effort will decide it. As a cliche machine like Steve Kerr might say, “who wants it more?” But I’m not so sure that’s accurate. We all know you can want something so badly you psyche yourself out. To me, it seems like it comes down to who has more confidence they will prevail. Who hopes this game will be theirs, and who knows it is?
Fourth Quarter
10:02: Dallas gives up a couple buckets while playing helter-skelter on offense, culminating in a shot-clock violation, the most emasculating of on-court violations. Effort isn’t lacking, but nerve might be. Spurs, 86-80.
7:21: Dampier blocks Duncan! He’s 0-4 since starting 12-12.
6:50: Make it 0-5, and on the other end, Stackhouse completes an 8-0 run to give the Mavs the lead, 88-86. Choke time?
6:14: Finley says NEIN. He blows past Dirk and delivers a sick dunk. As good as it felt to watch him screw up, it feels doubly bad to watch him posterize us.
5:38: Duncan back on track with a make and a foul. That was a tougher shot than the one he missed that would’ve won the last game — not that I’m accusing Duncan of being a 3.5 quarter player or anything. Nope.
3:54: Spurs up 95-90. The Mavs have put me in the worst possible position for any sports fan: losing late but close enough that you are deeply invested in the outcome. We’re not down far enough that I can mentally check out a bit, not close enough to really _know_ we’re right there.
3:14: DIRK THREEBALL TIES IT!! The yo-yo is gloriously torturous.
1:40: Down 1, Stackhouse misses an open 3. You get the feeling that’s the shot that would’ve broken SA’s back.
Gah. Coming back from commercial beak, they play a lame Moby song, but they put it over nice clips from this remarkably dramatic playoff series, so I get goosebumps against my will. I hate it when good highlights make me enjoy a song I don’t want to.
0:31: Duncan has the ball all alone but quickly passes to a cutting Parker, who misses a chip-shot. All Mavs fans breathe huge sigh of relief; if Duncan had attacked, the Spurs would be up 3 instead of 1. Good thing this is late in the 4th and Duncan’s not that guy.
0:06.3: Neither is Dirk tonight. Blocked in humiliating, didn’t-even-get-ball-out-of-his-hands fashion. Ouch. Jump ball that Ginobili outhustles our guys for and creates a second jump ball with 3.4 secs left. Oh, and our shortest player has to jump for it.
0:02.4: Mavs somehow collect the ball as it was fumbled off of both jumpers!
DAMN. Terry missed. Dirk missed the putback. Mavs lose, 98-97.
My hands are shaking.
I’ve rooted for this team for 18 years, and they’ve never been this good, never been on the cusp of something so great. And I’ve never known what it feels like to watch them come up short. Sometimes, especially for something so non-essential, sports is almost too painful.
Almost.
I’m already looking forward to Friday.
If it’s any consolation, the “man laws” commercials make me ashamed to be a carbon-based life form.
i had to find the man law commercials and see this poking stuff for myself (and see exactly how wrinkly burt’s face is these days). ick. a beer that has been carried in this way is only fit to shake and spray in the carrier’s face.
Great post and I feel the exact same way except reverse the elation/despair moments since I’m a Spurs fan. I’ll be out on Friday night at a Dallas sports bar w/my shoulders and stomach muscles all tied up in knots. At least its been a great series – but none of us are getting any sleep!