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Partly because the dumber ones moved to the DC area, and partly because they are just that stupid, I’d like to take a moment to celebrate Houston Texans owner Bob McNair and his lap dog, team GM Charley Casserley, as the official State Morons of Texas. Put their pictures up next to the state flag and state bird, because the mistakes these two men have made in the last 6 months have been iconic.

Bob McMair’s first big screw-up was keeping Casserly around to run his team. The Texans have drafted over 30 players and only 2 (CB Dunta Robinson and WR Andre Johnson) are legitimate above-average starters. Every second-round pick has been a bust, only Domanick Davis has emerged from the middle rounds as a diamond in the rough, and no free agents signings have made an impact. Good idea to stick with the plan, Bob.

Once Dumb and Dumber sat down together to determine how to recover from their 2-14 disaster season, they first made sure to pick up the option on questionable QB David Carr’s contract for franchise QB dollars over the next 3 years. Is he worth it? Tough to say — the offensive line Casserly has refused to fix is so bad he can’t stay on his feet. Carr seems to take a long time to read defenses, makes bad decisions at crucial moments in a game, and has never demonstrated the capacity to be more than a good game manager. Hardly a guy to lock down when you had the option to turn him loose.

Why turn him loose? Because the most popular football player in Texas, possibly in the state’s collegiate history, was available to take with the first pick in the draft: Rose Bowl superhero Vince Young. Will his game translate to the NFL? Maybe. Probably. The likelihood was good enough that McNair should have thought seriously about it. The only hope Mcnair’s team would ever have of passing the Cowboys in state importance lay in the possibility of Vince Young finding stardom in a Texans uni. Houston-born and raised, the kid is already a folk hero there, and building around him would have bought the team eternal loyalty from hundreds of thousands of locals.

But maybe Carr can be good, or good enough. Fine. Then you draft the most exciting offensive player to come out of college in the modern era, RB Reggie Bush. Some scouts graded him as the best player they’d ever evaluated. He averaged 8.9 yard per carry over an entire season, a record-setting feat nobody else may sniff for decades. He would help Carr look a lot better than he is right away. And he’s the only talent that could justify looking the other way when it came to Vince Young.

But they chose option C. The Texans drafted defensive end Mario Williams. They did it because Bush was balking at their contract offer and the Texans wanted the #1 pick signed, and also because the team brass — that would be McNair and Casserly — felt the defense needed more oomph. Never mind that Williams, a “measurables” monster, has had his desire and motivation questioned, or that he got 10 of his 14.5 sacks in 3 games against inferior opponents last year. Nope. Somehow, he’s the guy. Even then, of course, trading down would have been the preferable option. You could pay him less and pick up more draft picks. Taking him #1 overall is beyond short-sighted; it’s downright insulting.

If the State Morons wanted to appease the fans, they would’ve drafted Young. If they felt like Williams was the best fit for their franchise, they should have traded down to get him. If they wanted to save the franchise and please the fans at the same time, they would’ve taken Bush.

Improbably, they did none of the above and that’s going to cost them for years, especially if Young and Bush both pan out. Young will be taking snaps for Tennessee — you might remember them from such franchises as the Houston Oilers. Should Young make the Pro Bowl in the traitorous Titans jersey, Bob McNair might as well fold up his retractable roof stadium and head for the hills; the locals will never let him live it down.

Most of the time, I advocate ignoring fan interest when it comes to drafting or signing players. Pro football isn’t a popularity contest, and even if it is, winning is the easiest way to be crowned Prom King. But the Texans were coming off of a humiliating season full of empty seats and turned-off TVs. With the #1 pick in the draft, the Texans needed to claim an identity.

Unfortunately, they did.